So I was driving in my car from a friends place. As I hit a red light I began to think about my life and the changes that have been occurring since I moved away from my home. I thought about the person that I was in high school and how I am not that person anymore.
Then I realized that, before I came to college, I knew who I was as a person. I could tell you what I liked, disliked, and what i wanted in general. So what happened? When did I lose the person that I once was?
I began to think about when I first began to lose who I was. Was it when I moved to college? Was it when I didn't move home after my second year of college? No. I believe that it began before I ever moved away.
So I must now turn back time. Throughout much of my life I was never very connected to my peers. I had my own life, my whole world that was kept separate from my friends. I never had anyone that I was deeply connected with. I was me.
Then, I met my best friend. We were neigh on inseparable. It was at this time that I began to lose my identity. It shifted to include someone that I cared much about. I began to like a new type of music as well as trying new hobbies. This wasn't a bad thing. However, I was no longer me. From this point on, I have lost my personal identity.
This was one weird revelation. Now that I can see what happened, I ask myself: How do you find who you are as a person? If anyone is reading this, what do you think? How would you find who you are? Should I go on a soul-searching journey? I am going to try and figure this out. Wish me the best of luck!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Random short stories:
Life has been going on...as per usual. But so much has happened in my life that is totally rocking! I think this may turn into a a bunch of short stories but that is ok. So let us begin!
Paying it forward:
If you don't know, I work at a grocery store. I love my job. My co-workers are amazing and the customers....well some are cool and others can be extremely rude. But sometimes they surprise you with their kindness and heart. I had a customer come through my line. She joked with the lady behind her about paying for her groceries. The second lady, after joking a little bit, said yes. The first lady was taken aback. She did not actually expect the second woman to pay for her groceries. Yet she did! She was paying it forward from a time when someone did something kind for her.
Dying Fathers and Cancer:
Sometimes customers shock you with the sad tales of their lives. I have heard two. The first was a little girl. She came to my register with three or four items. Most of them were "5 hour energy" shots. I asked her if she liked how the "5 hour energy" tasted. She responded that they were not for her...they were for her father who was in one of the last stages of cancer. He used them to stay awake and interact with his daughters.
Story 2: A lady and 3 teens come through my lane.They are buying almost $100 of our chicken. I ask the woman if there is some special event. She responds that she she is hosting a fund raiser. When I ask what fund raiser she told me that she is raising money for her son. Her son has cancer and he was about to go through his third surgery.
I cannot believe how blessed I am. These people are going through so much more pain than most of us. Even though these families have these horrible hardships...they keep fighting through it. It is a great example of the human spirit.
School:
As you may or may not know, I am a social work major. I am a Junior in college and I am in the Social Work program. I am learning so much about the skills that I will be using in the future. The work has becoming extremely challenging. Yet it is rewarding to do well when I put forth my best effort.
New Life Goals:
1. Earning my Black Belt--I want to take tae kwon do again. I miss it a lot. It was a ton of fun. I was able to learn so much from my sensei. I believe that earning my black belt would allow me to develop my self-confidence and ass-kicking skills! ;p
2. Learn Sign Language--I want to be able to communicate with people who cannot use their voices. I feel that deaf/mute people have so much to say. I would love to be able to hear their stories in a way that they would be comfortable telling.
Nice Black Ladies:
This sounds crazy....but I love the nice black ladies who come through my line at work. They are full of respect and maternal power. They are kind and humble at the same time. So to some it up--I love my older, black customers...these ladies are so amazing!
Quick note: two of my favorite animals are the platypus and the narwhal! These animals rock our world! Some called them deformed...I call them frickin awesome!
Tattoo:
I have yet to get my first tattoo! I really want to get inked. I'm trying to figure out what I want to get. It drives me crazy. Eventually I will get a tattoo...or two.....or more!
I hope that you have fun reading this random update of my life. Keep rockin the world!
Paying it forward:
If you don't know, I work at a grocery store. I love my job. My co-workers are amazing and the customers....well some are cool and others can be extremely rude. But sometimes they surprise you with their kindness and heart. I had a customer come through my line. She joked with the lady behind her about paying for her groceries. The second lady, after joking a little bit, said yes. The first lady was taken aback. She did not actually expect the second woman to pay for her groceries. Yet she did! She was paying it forward from a time when someone did something kind for her.
Dying Fathers and Cancer:
Sometimes customers shock you with the sad tales of their lives. I have heard two. The first was a little girl. She came to my register with three or four items. Most of them were "5 hour energy" shots. I asked her if she liked how the "5 hour energy" tasted. She responded that they were not for her...they were for her father who was in one of the last stages of cancer. He used them to stay awake and interact with his daughters.
Story 2: A lady and 3 teens come through my lane.They are buying almost $100 of our chicken. I ask the woman if there is some special event. She responds that she she is hosting a fund raiser. When I ask what fund raiser she told me that she is raising money for her son. Her son has cancer and he was about to go through his third surgery.
I cannot believe how blessed I am. These people are going through so much more pain than most of us. Even though these families have these horrible hardships...they keep fighting through it. It is a great example of the human spirit.
School:
As you may or may not know, I am a social work major. I am a Junior in college and I am in the Social Work program. I am learning so much about the skills that I will be using in the future. The work has becoming extremely challenging. Yet it is rewarding to do well when I put forth my best effort.
New Life Goals:
1. Earning my Black Belt--I want to take tae kwon do again. I miss it a lot. It was a ton of fun. I was able to learn so much from my sensei. I believe that earning my black belt would allow me to develop my self-confidence and ass-kicking skills! ;p
2. Learn Sign Language--I want to be able to communicate with people who cannot use their voices. I feel that deaf/mute people have so much to say. I would love to be able to hear their stories in a way that they would be comfortable telling.
Nice Black Ladies:
This sounds crazy....but I love the nice black ladies who come through my line at work. They are full of respect and maternal power. They are kind and humble at the same time. So to some it up--I love my older, black customers...these ladies are so amazing!
Quick note: two of my favorite animals are the platypus and the narwhal! These animals rock our world! Some called them deformed...I call them frickin awesome!
Tattoo:
I have yet to get my first tattoo! I really want to get inked. I'm trying to figure out what I want to get. It drives me crazy. Eventually I will get a tattoo...or two.....or more!
I hope that you have fun reading this random update of my life. Keep rockin the world!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Junior Year!
Time has once again flown by and I now find myself beginning by junior year of college. My first week of classes was pretty crazy. I'm both excited and scared for this year. The homework is gonna be a challenge. I have tons of reading, writing, and group projects in store for this semester.
In addition to all of the homework I am balancing work and a social life. I understand that I am not the only person who has to do this but this year it is going to be a challenge for me. I am also working on balancing my checkbook and keeping better track of all of my finances. Another new part of my life is living off campus! My roommate and I don't always get along but thats part of living with others: learning to be flexible and work through all of the issues.
I also have a new job. I am no longer an RA at the dorms. I am now a cashier at a grocery store. I love my new job. My co-workers are great and my managers are a hoot. They also do a great job of working with my schedule.
Random thoughts: I really want to get a tattoo in the near future. I'm not sure what I want but I have a few ideas running through my head. I am also thinking a lot about the future. I still don't know what God has in store for me but I am ready to go on a journey. After my journey is done then I will be able to look back and see the steps that He had ready for me! I think I'm gonna go to bed. Good night interwebs!
In addition to all of the homework I am balancing work and a social life. I understand that I am not the only person who has to do this but this year it is going to be a challenge for me. I am also working on balancing my checkbook and keeping better track of all of my finances. Another new part of my life is living off campus! My roommate and I don't always get along but thats part of living with others: learning to be flexible and work through all of the issues.
I also have a new job. I am no longer an RA at the dorms. I am now a cashier at a grocery store. I love my new job. My co-workers are great and my managers are a hoot. They also do a great job of working with my schedule.
Random thoughts: I really want to get a tattoo in the near future. I'm not sure what I want but I have a few ideas running through my head. I am also thinking a lot about the future. I still don't know what God has in store for me but I am ready to go on a journey. After my journey is done then I will be able to look back and see the steps that He had ready for me! I think I'm gonna go to bed. Good night interwebs!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Jury Duty, Finals, and Facebook
So life has been crazy. The craziest thing was being called for jury duty during my finals week. At first i considered using my finals as a reason to get out of jury duty. But I decided to try and stick it out and see how it would all turn out. The case was supposed to last 3 weeks...crazy isn't it? IT was a civil case where 4,000 employees were suing Nebraska Beef for what they believed was unpaid labor. Doesn't sound too bad right? On Monday we had jury selection. Usually the jury is selected by 12 pm...our jury was finished at 5 pm. The next day the judge read 20+ pages of instructions to read into the record for us. Then we finally made it to opening statements. After lunch we finally started questioning. The rest of Tuesday was spent questioning one person. This might sound like we actually got somewhere. But we didn't even get through the prosecution's questioning. We still had 3 more rounds of questioning for this one person. The judge told us that they would try to speed things up the next day.
In leu of all of this I was trying to reschedule all of my finals around jury duty. It looked like I would not be able to take my final for one of my classes till the jury duty was completed. So I was getting super stressed. Additionally, jury duty was messing up my summer school and my future camping trip.
Now comes along Wednesday. We were told to be in the jury deliberation room at 8:20 am. We were not brought into the court room until 9:20ish. We were told that we did not need to bring in our note pads (we used them to take notes about what was going on in the court room). The judge tells us that there has been a snafu with the evidence. He let us go for the day so that they could work through some legal stuff so that we could actually finish the case in 3 weeks. We were also told that there was a possibility that we could be called back in.
I was super excited because now I had an opportunity to take the final that I was having issues rescheduling. I emailed my professor and setup a time to take the final. Later that afternoon I headed to go take my final. While waiting to take the final my phone began to wring. I didn't recognize the number. When I answered it was someone from the court house. She asked me how my final went. I responded that I had yet to take it...I was scared that I was being called back to court before I could take my final. But she gave me different news...the trial was done. It had ended in the mistrial. I was OVERJOYED! God had made everything amazing: my plans for summer school and camping were now back in action AND I was able to experience jury duty.
One of the coolest things about jury duty was getting to know the other jurors. Within three days we were getting comfortable with each other. We were all going through the same experience. We came from many different backgrounds. Some were parents, others grandparents, and two of us were college students. It was crazy that within two days some of the adults were helping each other by giving advice about dealing with angry teens. A few of the adults started passing around family pictures. I think that it was a great to spend time with my fellow jurors. A little less important was seeing how real courtrooms work. They are NOTHING like what you see on tv. The judges and lawyers are very careful about everything in case someone tries to repeal the case.
Now I am done with jury duty and finals. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. Random note...tonight will be the end of my facebook fast. At 12:01 am I will log on for the first time this entire semester. I really don't think that I'm gonna like it it as much as I use to. But thats ok. There is more to life than facebook.
Thats my life as of right now. I hope your life is amazing...and learn from my experience...God will make everything workout! Have a great day/night (pending on when you read this) ;p
In leu of all of this I was trying to reschedule all of my finals around jury duty. It looked like I would not be able to take my final for one of my classes till the jury duty was completed. So I was getting super stressed. Additionally, jury duty was messing up my summer school and my future camping trip.
Now comes along Wednesday. We were told to be in the jury deliberation room at 8:20 am. We were not brought into the court room until 9:20ish. We were told that we did not need to bring in our note pads (we used them to take notes about what was going on in the court room). The judge tells us that there has been a snafu with the evidence. He let us go for the day so that they could work through some legal stuff so that we could actually finish the case in 3 weeks. We were also told that there was a possibility that we could be called back in.
I was super excited because now I had an opportunity to take the final that I was having issues rescheduling. I emailed my professor and setup a time to take the final. Later that afternoon I headed to go take my final. While waiting to take the final my phone began to wring. I didn't recognize the number. When I answered it was someone from the court house. She asked me how my final went. I responded that I had yet to take it...I was scared that I was being called back to court before I could take my final. But she gave me different news...the trial was done. It had ended in the mistrial. I was OVERJOYED! God had made everything amazing: my plans for summer school and camping were now back in action AND I was able to experience jury duty.
One of the coolest things about jury duty was getting to know the other jurors. Within three days we were getting comfortable with each other. We were all going through the same experience. We came from many different backgrounds. Some were parents, others grandparents, and two of us were college students. It was crazy that within two days some of the adults were helping each other by giving advice about dealing with angry teens. A few of the adults started passing around family pictures. I think that it was a great to spend time with my fellow jurors. A little less important was seeing how real courtrooms work. They are NOTHING like what you see on tv. The judges and lawyers are very careful about everything in case someone tries to repeal the case.
Now I am done with jury duty and finals. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. Random note...tonight will be the end of my facebook fast. At 12:01 am I will log on for the first time this entire semester. I really don't think that I'm gonna like it it as much as I use to. But thats ok. There is more to life than facebook.
Thats my life as of right now. I hope your life is amazing...and learn from my experience...God will make everything workout! Have a great day/night (pending on when you read this) ;p
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Wild at Heart
I joined a guys group at my college church group. In my small group we are reading the book titled "Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secrets to a Man's Soul." Its a phenomenal book that every man on should read. Its easy to read and it speaks truth about what it means to be a man. I haven't finished the book yet but I highly recommend it to all guys.
I thought that the book would be really good for one of my friends so I bought him a copy. About a week later he sent me a text message that said: thanks 4 getn me that book. its life-changn. It brought me true joy to know that someone that I really care about had such a powerful experience from reading the book.
If you have a few extra dollars and there is a guy that you care about, consider buying him a copy of this book. (P.S. I am not getting paid in any way to post this.)
I thought that the book would be really good for one of my friends so I bought him a copy. About a week later he sent me a text message that said: thanks 4 getn me that book. its life-changn. It brought me true joy to know that someone that I really care about had such a powerful experience from reading the book.
If you have a few extra dollars and there is a guy that you care about, consider buying him a copy of this book. (P.S. I am not getting paid in any way to post this.)
SO I'm just hanging out at the dorms and I thought that I would talk about my Spring Break. I was able to go home and work over my entire break--yeah for not having to be on duty at all! It was good to be able to go home and work. I found myself going crazy when I didn't have anything to do. Between working almost every single day I was able to spend most of my free time with some good friends. I was actually happy with the fact that I spent more time with friends that I don't hang with every time I go home.
Crazy story: I went with one of my friends at a park. We were just swinging and talking then, out of nowhere, appears this 11 year old kid. It was really awkward. The kid jumps into our conversation with his stories. He starts telling us about how he bought his girlfriend a $200 present then she broke up with him. Wait a minute...how does an 11 year old have $200? We had to be careful what type of language we used because the kid was 11. When we were about to leave the kid was asking to add me on facebook! Do kids now-a-days not realize the danger of talking to strangers? I tried to tell him to be careful when it comes to strangers but I don't think that he got the message.
After being back home I realized that I really hate all of the drama that happens. It gets old really fast. I was surprised at how happy I was to be back in O-town--away from the drama.
Overall, my break way good. I was able to work and make some much needed money. Better yet, I was able to spend my free time with friends and family.
Crazy story: I went with one of my friends at a park. We were just swinging and talking then, out of nowhere, appears this 11 year old kid. It was really awkward. The kid jumps into our conversation with his stories. He starts telling us about how he bought his girlfriend a $200 present then she broke up with him. Wait a minute...how does an 11 year old have $200? We had to be careful what type of language we used because the kid was 11. When we were about to leave the kid was asking to add me on facebook! Do kids now-a-days not realize the danger of talking to strangers? I tried to tell him to be careful when it comes to strangers but I don't think that he got the message.
After being back home I realized that I really hate all of the drama that happens. It gets old really fast. I was surprised at how happy I was to be back in O-town--away from the drama.
Overall, my break way good. I was able to work and make some much needed money. Better yet, I was able to spend my free time with friends and family.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Always a stretch of time...
So it has been a long time, like usual, since my last post. So what is new in my life? Well my biggest issue right now is figuring out what to do with my future. I just finished turning in my application to get into the Social Work program. All is good right? No. I have never been sure if I wanted to be a Social Worker. Now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. I am going to look into Wildlife Conservation Biology. I am going to try and volunteer and job shadow this summer to figure out if this is something I want to do. I'm kinda freaking out about this. I just want to know exactly what I'm supposed to do with my life. Now I have no idea. I always planned on finishing college in 4 years. It looks like this plan needs to be adjusted.
So that is the biggest change that I'm dealing with. There has been one big positive change. I have started going to a guys small group. We are reading this amazing book titled "Wild at Heart". Its a really good book about finding what it means to be a man. Its actually very applicable and true. Additionally, I'm going to church with Mo. Its been really good for me. It kinda makes me sad to think that, if I transfer schools, I won't have these new things. Only time will tell.
So that is an update on my life. Peace out y'all.
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